Who I am

Yesterday a friend asked me a question... and I found it difficult to answer. I suppose it is a question that everyone finds challenging to define to some extent: Who am I? How do I view myself? Perhaps the answer is too personal to try to put onto a blogpost, but a few thoughts about it anyway...

The knowledge that has sustained me the most throughout my life is the assurance that I am a loved daughter of God. From a little girl until now, I have always been certain of that love.

Being the oldest child with a love of learning and reading, throughout different stages in my life I have defined myself as a responsible, smart student. Now that it's been four years since I've taken a test or received a grade, I've come to realize that wisdom and the ability to learn is not defined in real life by how easily one can ace a test or write a paper. Perhaps one day if I really learn how to change and learn from my mistakes, completely forgive another, and accept God's lessons from the beginning I will consider myself truly intelligent but until then... I've still got a lot to learn.

Especially recently as I have been preparing to be a nanny, I have been grateful for the gift in my life of caring for children and being happy helping others. So in some ways I see myself as a nurturer.

I'm very much defined by my family, especially my grandparents and Browning side of the family. I love the acceptance I have consistently found throughout all of the awkward stages of life I've gone through. I love my roles as a sister and granddaughter. I'm still working on being a better daughter.

There's a lot more I could add, but I think those things cover the most important answers... at least for now.

Today...

For those of you who get to read this, lucky you! My room mate has an inkling that this will be deleted within the next 24 hour time period and she's probably right (as always is the case). Anyways, today I made the mistake of leaving my blogspot profile logged in on my room mates computer. Silly me! Though I must admit, I was awfully nice by giving her a ride today.
Why would she do this to me? Most decent people would just log out and never have a second thought about it! But NO! I was given a room mate who writes a blog pretending to be me and then publishes it. *sigh* My life is so unfair! :D

plan-a-holic

I spent at least a week planning my halloween costume. I spent the better part of 1 1/2 years trying to plan out leaving on a mission. I spent months as a junior dreaming of colleges on the east coast and seattle. I think I was around 13 when I drew a blue print for my "dream house" and ordered garden magazine to plan which flowers would be in the front and back yards. I guess I just like planning.

For the last few weeks I have been planning a trip out to DC, trying to fit in 8 interviews into 2 1/2 days in different parts of the DC which I have never been to, on a very small budget. If all is successful it might just be worth it... double the pay, a new job on the east coast, and feeling like I'm actually taking advantage of being a single college grad with nothing to tie her down.

I made a sweet new "career blog" that I think has been helpful in landing some interviews. Feel free to check it out. I'm pretty proud of the fact that I figured out how to get the slide show on there. (I just added a link at the top right of this blog)

One down side of being somewhat obsessive about planning things, however, is that it drives me crazy when people I want to do things with or guys I'm dating are, well, terrible at planning anything. Or when things don't go according to plan I start to become pessimistic at best and angry or hurt at worst. Maybe a new goal for me should be to find some way to balance this out. Or to just find someone to date who doesn't mind planning things out and actually sticks to the schedule. Hmm, I definitely think the odds of the first option actually happening are a lot higher.

The pics above reflect the changes in my life from April 2008 to April 2009. Who know what April 2010 will bring.


Charity leaves on her mission in few days. (Hence the photo shoot) The conference talk about embracing changes in our lives was for her and for me. A year ago last conference time I was sitting with my amazing new member family in Nantou. I had no idea then what a precious time on the mission that was and how much I would miss it a year later. I'm praying that the talks on the temple during conference will help them be ready to go to the temple and be sealed as family soon.

I'm also hoping that I can use the faith and confidence the apostles and prophet of the church encouraged us to develop to go forward with some big decisions in my life. It's going to be a beautiful spring.