What I've learned so far from living in Alexandria, VA

Being 25 and single doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. I spend the majority of my social time interacting with beautiful, kind, smart, proactive friends who don't fit the typical BYU mold. Yes, they are in their mid to late 20s, have been graduated from college and often grad programs for several years, working in meaningful professions and {gasp} are not married. Especially from interactions with sisters in my relief society, I've realized that normal, attractive, spiritual girls just haven't found/ been led to the right guy. In most cases, this is not because they are awkward, lazy, stupid, unattractive or wierd... it's just that it hasn't worked out. Don't try to tell any of us that if we changed this or that or were less picky that we would be married by now. It's not true. We're just doing our best to do good things with our lives whether or not Mr. Right comes along.

Along with this exciting east-coast single lifestyle, we all deal with feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and insecurity. Some of us do better at hiding or diminishing these feelings than others, but they are there. The best realization for me is that it's normal. Thinking about how little control we have over our dreams for a future family is frightening for all of us. But, we still overcome all of these obstacles to make something beautiful and meaningful out of this portion of our lives that we never really planned for or wanted, for that matter. At age 16, most of us thought that by now we'd have a family of our own, not a "household" of 1. But we deal, adjust, and make meaningful contributions to the lives of others, while trying to find our own place in a rather difficult social world. Indeed, the strength of those around me has changed me for the better.

A larger sense of what it means to be an American. My perspective about many political, social, and cultural issues has expanded a lot since leaving Utah. I avoid taking stands on most issues, because there's always going to be someone who defines this or that differently than I do, or a reason that I should look at the issue a different way. But somewhere in the midst of it all, I have a greater appreciation of the diversity of belief, values, and background that makes Americans who they are. I love shopping at the grocery store, surrounded by people who live/ think/ speak differently that I do. We're not all the same, but we all go to buy milk and bread, wait in the same lines, hate the traffic.

The relativity of wealth. I make a considerable amount more money working out here in the DC area. I am not considerably more financially secure. Who knew a $900,000 house could feel so ordinary? Several years ago, my 2002 Toyota Corolla felt almost luxurious. After dates in BMWs and Infinitys to eat at restaurants where meals cost more than my grandparents' weekly grocery expenses, I've become rather spoiled. Still, when I go to the Pentagon City mall to buy a new shirt, I pass up the $75 cardigans and $200 shoes for the $13 sale rack.

The value of a good pair of running shoes and a gym membership. Spending three nights a week at the gym has been great. I never knew before how many benefits there are to this habit. Physically: I look better, I feel more in shape, I'm motivated to eat healthier (though this doesn't happen as much as it should), I have more energy. Emotionally: I cope with discouragement and depression more easily; even on a bad day, a good workout at the gym helps me feel like I've accomplished something, and usually I'm having fun. It doesn't get much better than when your instructor takes the time to point out to you individually that you did well. I've recently re-accepted the fact that I'm never going to be any good at basketball, but with enough work, I can feel like I'm pretty good at ab workouts or step class. Socially: I'm more confident. The thought of wearing a swimsuit at the beach this summer doesn't scare me.

Why traveling is so fulfilling. Give me a suitcase, a few days off work, and full tank of gas, and life just doesn't get any better than that. From a bike ride down the GW Parkway, to a park in Boston, or a walk down the streets of Charlotte, NC at night, I love doing new things. I love feeling that I'm experiencing a part of something extraordinary, while expanding my understanding of the the past and the present. It's pretty cool to know that I've been in the room where the Declaration of Independence was signed and then stayed the night on Bunker Hill where an actually battle for liberty was fought. Now if only this stupid snow and cold would go away so I could spend some more time outdoors without feeling like I might lose my big toe from exposure.

Last but not least, I've evolved from the BYU singles ward dating sense of humor to the east coast singles ward jokes. That's why this video is rather funny to me.

And while you're checking out videos that are more funny if you live in Virginia, but pretty hilarious anyways, check out this one about Arlington.