Part of a family

I found this art work that Luca made at school the other day and  was deeply touched. I do feel a part of this beautiful, kind family, and it has changed my heart. I'm glad it has touched their hearts as well. To have been so unconditionally and fully accepted by these children and their parents has been a blessing beyond what I could have ever asked.

At the top of the reason I'm glad to have spent the last year in Salt Lake City are these two little boys. It has been such a privileged to watch these boys grow up. I didn't know how attached my heart would become to a baby boy whose diapers I have changed a million times and whose little changes every day are such a joy to be a part of. I didn't know how a spontaneous "Guess what... I love you" would mean every time I hear it. 

I am grateful to have spent a good portion of the last five years a been a nanny. Being single for much longer than I anticipated has lead me down unexpected and sometimes difficult paths. But any heartache has been tempered by having innocent, loving, playful children to smile with and love every day. I miss these two darling faces more than I could have anticipated. They both have such kind hearts and joyful personalities. I hope to play with them again soon.

And then, there are these three children who changed the course of my life forever. They are part of the reason I am becoming a speech pathologist and a lot of the reason that I feel like children with disabilities are meant to be a part of my life forever. I anticipate the day when I can come to really know the eternal, perfect souls that are hidden inside of their bodies and minds of such limited capacity. There is something in Ali's eyes that will always speak deeply to my heart.

I am not sure if my time as a nanny will continue beyond this spring, I do know that life brings progression and change.  Time passes quickly and I often look back and ask myself what I have accomplished as the years go by and I get older. In many ways, I feel to wonder if I could have done more. In other ways, I look at these beautiful children who have been a part of my mornings and afternoons and dinnertimes and know that this is meaningful. Those thousands of small moments with each of them have changed me forever. They have been my meaning...my purpose.