I'm listening to a song...it makes me want to cry. So instead of crying I'm writing on my blog. Is this good therapy? not really sure.
Have you ever had a moment that you know one day you'll want to live again, but won't be able to? And so you either desperately try to squeeze all the happiness and satisfaction out of that moment, or just put "this won't last forever" thought to the back of your mind where you store the rest of your heartaches and embarrassing moments and go on like nothing happened. I have those kind of moments every once in awhile.

Yesterday I was in my institute class and we were talking about death... and of course the happier part of it all, the hope of resurrection. We read this poem that I remember just blowing me away with emotion the first time it was read in general conference last year. It written by the husband of someone who had died in an airplane crash in Brazil.

If I knew this would be the last time I would watch you sleep,
I would hug you tighter. I would plead with the Lord to protect you.
If I knew this would be the last time I saw you walk out the door,
I would hug and kiss you and call you back to hug and kiss you one more time.

If I knew this would be the last time I would hear your voice in prayer,
I would record every gesture, every look, every smile, every one of your words,
So that I could listen to it later, day after day.

If I knew this would be the last time,
I would spend an extra minute or two to tell you, "I love you," instead of assuming you already knew it.

If I knew this would be our last time, our last moment,
I would be by your side, spending the day with you instead of thinking,
"Well, I'm sure other opportunities will come, so I can let this day go by."

I don't have you here with me, and today is the last day we have—our farewell.
Therefore I would like to say how much I love you,
And I hope you never forget it.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old.
Today might be your last chance to hold tight to the hand of the one you love and show all you feel.

If you are waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
Because if tomorrow never comes, you certainly will regret for the rest of your life

Not having spent some extra time for a smile, a conversation, a hug, a kiss,
Because you were too busy to give that person what ended up being their last wish.

Then hug tight today the one you love, your friends, your family, and whisper in their ears how much you love them and want them close to you.
Use your time to say,
"I'm sorry,"
"Please,"
"Forgive me,"
"Thank you,"
Or even,
"That was nothing,"
"It's all right,"

Because if tomorrow never comes, you will not have to regret today.
The past doesn't come back, and the future might not come!¹⁰

Yesterday it wasn't like I felt an impending death of someone I love, but I just felt like I needed to be better aware of blessings of the relationships I have in my life. They are wonderful and more than I deserve. The Lord is merciful to me. And when I think about that, I want to love more and care more and forget myself more; and suddenly I find myself not wanting to let go of any moment.